Thursday, November 21, 2024
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How Low Can A Fred Get? – Bike Snob NYC

Within the feedback on yesterday’s publish, a reader talked about this surprising story:

And by “surprising” I imply I used to be shocked it didn’t occur on the Gran Fondo New York:

Clearly, evading doping controls at novice races is changing into a biking self-discipline unto itself.

As for this newest story, right here’s what occurred:

I in fact needed to know extra about Giovambattista Iera, bicycle owner and former actor. If you consider it, dishonest to win novice bike races is a pure development after not making it as an actor, since each arenas will let you construct a pretend persona round your self, although in case you suck at appearing you suck at appearing, whereas in case you suck at biking you possibly can cheat and in case you’re fortunate possibly you’ll get away with it for awhile. Actually, he matches the FBI’s Rogue Douche Profile nearly to a T, and the one factor lacking is a stint as a restauranteu–oh, wait, sorry, he did that too:

And sure, I checked pictures from information tales to be sure that’s him:

Wouldn’t need to smear an harmless restauranteur.

Finally, I feel his solely mistake (apart from operating down the race director, you actually shouldn’t try this) was not styling himself as a gravel privateer and influencer on Instagram, as a result of that’s the true development space for formidable bike lovers with borderline character dysfunction lately. Simply ask my new driving buddy and life coach Alt Highway Overshort:

And his good friend who should have laundered his clothes in a detergent that’s actually wreaking havoc along with his eczema:

And sure, because the varieties of people that put on MAAP clothes know, gravel is completely over. Now it’s all about sand, which is simply gravel, solely a lot smaller:

Both that or I assumed I used to be on the MAAP website however was truly on a web page for the brand new Dune film:

Jesus. Get some solar. Crack a smile. Eat some freaking Chipotle. LIVE, GODDAMN IT, LIVE!

I do actually like that gravel dais although:

The brand new Alt Gravel Dais is simply $2,500 from MAAP and it means that you can put on your Alt biking wardrobe always, even once you’re off the bike, as a result of standing on a patch of gravel will nonetheless maintain your outfit in context and let everybody know you’re a style sufferer gravelista and simply not somebody from a dystopian close to future who slipped by way of a wormhole in time. You may stand on the Alt Gravel Dais when you’re ready for the subway, hanging out on the bar with buddies, or struggling by way of a lecture out of your dad and mom earlier than they lend you $15,000 for that six-month bikepacking journey. (It’s an funding, it’ll create content material, you’ll monetize it!) Or you should utilize it on the bike too for when there’s no gravel round–simply cease, throw it down, experience over it, and repeat. The Alt Gravel Dais from MAAP, it allows you to take your way of life with you.

As for the forgotten ghost world of non-gravel bikes, as of yesterday I’ve formally taken the rehabilitated ‘Noner for its first experience:

However earlier than going any additional, I’d like to handle the stem. Positive, a commenter yesterday mentioned I might have chosen a classier one, however this one has completely different settings! It goes from 3 (Slammed) all the way in which to 0 (Woosie):

Anyway, in setting out, I donned a jersey to honor the bike’s Canadian heritage:

Between an end-of-the-weekend gastrointestinal freakout and my sundry “tasks,” I hadn’t been on the bike since Saturday, and I discovered that whereas I used to be gone summer season had arrived:

It meant enterprise too, as a result of not solely was it scorching, however the air was thick with bugs and this cottony crap:

I don’t know what tree or plant these items comes from, but it surely was completely in every single place:

All of this conspired to imbue the day with a sense of lethargy, and even the bunnies couldn’t be bothered to hop away once you obtained near them:

Each the climate and the bike had come a good distance since our first experience:

The ‘Noner felt nice:

Although after a number of miles I ended to verify it over:

General, the 8-speed Refrain shifters are working effectively, and I hope they proceed to take action for awhile as a result of I like the way in which they really feel and it’s enjoyable to have Campagnolo Ergo once more:

There’s a softness right here and there that leads me to marvel how far more life the internals have in them, but it surely’s laborious to inform how a lot of that’s simply me not getting used to them and paying an excessive amount of consideration to stuff, and for all my troubles with the cassette the shifting is easy* and correct:

*[If you can call Campy smooth; it’s more a “ker-klunk” with Campy, but you know what I mean.]

The hubs nonetheless want service and the underside bracket must be changed, however in any other case the elements appear to be in good condition:

The headset is easy:

So are the brakes:

And each the Athena “9 velocity” (if I’m studying that appropriately) rear derailleur…

…and Centaur “10 velocity” derailleur are doing what they should do:

Although I do solely consider one factor after I hear “Centaur:”

As for the body, there’s this entire scenario, which looks as if it might have occurred in transit since that’s the place the wheel axle likes to rub in opposition to the body once you pack a motorbike in a field:

Then there’s the dinged prime tube:

And an total smattering of rust:

However it’s significantly more healthy than it was when it confirmed up on the Tan Tenovo Residence For Wayward Bikes:

We’ll see the way it holds up.

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