Thursday, November 7, 2024
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PEZ Picks The Largest Unhealthy Asses In Professional Biking

“I’m by no means happier than once I’m writing.”
~ Ed Hood, as spoken to Martin Williamson from the passenger seat, driving alongside a stage route on the Tour de France.

Pricey Readers – Our beloved colleague and good friend Ed Hood suffered a severe stroke in February.  We don’t count on Ed will make it again into our bunch, so we’ve began a GoFundMe web page to assist Ed together with his future.  Learn the complete put up right here – and please think about donating.

** Click on this hyperlink to donate to the GoFundMe web page to assist Ed **

We’ll be posting a number of Ed’s work from the previous 16 years, as a result of nice story-telling by no means will get previous.


Who was the most important Unhealthy Ass: Biking has its justifiable share of arduous bastards, which isn’t too stunning once you assume what the riders put themselves by means of to win the world’s hardest races. However some riders take the time period ‘arduous man’ too far. Ed Hood takes his decide of the 13 prime ‘Unhealthy Asses’ of the peloton.

baldato
Baldato didn’t make it

The British ‘Biking Weekly’ journal not too long ago ran a characteristic itemizing their prime 10, ‘Unhealthy Asses’. Their phrases, not ours, however the gist was riders who’re/had been, controversial, powerful or ‘arduous’.

Their prime 10 was:
1) Bernard Hinault
2) Sean Yates
3) Sean Kelly
4) Alberto Contador
5) Thomas De Gendt
6) Beryl Burton
7) Thor Hushovd
8) Jacques Anquetil
9) Octave Lapize
10) Alfonsina Strada

Not a nasty premise for a bit we thought, so we had a assume and right here’s OUR prime 13 – to make use of a controversial quantity – in alphabetical order:

Joaquim Agostinho: fought for 3 years in Angola and Mozambique throughout Portugal’s colonial wars, earlier than turning professional. The legend is that his captain within the military ‘found’ him resulting from his having the ability to trip 50 kilometres in two hours on a heavy military bike when delivering messages – his contemporaries taking 5 hours. When requested if the Tour de France was powerful, Agostinho replied that it was a lot much less powerful than sleeping within the jungle throughout a guerrilla conflict. . .

agostinho
Agostinho – Robust as they arrive and a tragic finish

Jacques Anquetil: his private life would make an ideal film however we’ll go away that apart; Biking Weekly rightly focuses on his profitable the Dauphine Libere then flying direct to Bordeaux to trip and win the marathon partly Derny paced Bordeaux-Paris. An ‘exploit’ for positive. Englishman Vin Denson was considered one of his key domestiques; considered one of his major jobs if Jacques was driving for the win? To ship Jacques his, ‘ending bidon’ – containing champagne and brandy. They don’t make them like Jacques anymore.

anquetil poulidor
Anquetil – Easy rider, however arduous

Lance Armstrong: yeah, we all know, however this can be a man who actually did come again from being near demise to win the Tour de France – the ‘kitting up?’ Have a wee take a look at the highest 10 of the Excursions he received. It will be faster to listing those that didn’t get ‘executed’ than those that did; would he have received if everybody was ‘clear?’ That we’ll by no means know.

armstrong
Armstrong – Very arduous on ‘mates’

Danilo Di Luca: ‘The Killer’ was a pleasure to look at, aggressive to the max, and effectively revered by his group mates. A winner of the Giro, Lombardia and Liège-Bastogne-Liège – after which he bought ‘executed’ and suspended. Again he got here, aggressive as ever; and promptly bought ‘executed’ once more – that’s ‘unhealthy ass’ for positive. The person broke my coronary heart.

di luca
Di Luca – Possibly not the cleverest rider

Jackie Durand: within the Biking Weekly they listing Thomas De Gendt for his lengthy, lone breaks – ‘respect’ for positive. However has he ever received a Monument? Nope – however Jackie did, the Ronde in 1992; and two French Skilled Street Race Championships, Paris-Excursions, the Tro Bro Leon, three Tour de France levels and a spell within the yellow jersey. Thomas has a technique to go earlier than he can match the Frenchman as a tough man, ‘baroudeur’.

Jacky Durand
Durand – Flanders winner

Bernard Hinault: arduous to argue with Biking Weekly’s inclusion of the Breton, he received nearly the whole lot there was to win together with one of the vital savage World Skilled Street Race Championships ever, Sallanches in 1980. Then there was his 80 kilometre solo to win Liège-Bastogne-Liège in a snow storm, he nonetheless suffers from the frostbite in his fingers. He received the Tour with a damaged nostril after a ‘face plant’ crash at prime pace and wasn’t averse to driving into strikers protesting on the parcours at full pelt with fists flying. Not a person to mess with. And naturally, he challenged younger group mate Greg LeMond all the best way to complete of the ’86 Tour de France after having pledged his help to the American. He defined that he was simply ensuring that LeMond’s win was a ‘worthy’ one. Proper, Bernard.

hinault
Hinault – Sure, arduous

Sean Kelly: one other Biking Weekly choice we have now no quibble with; the ‘King of the Classics’ and a Vuelta winner, his dash battles with Eric Vanderaerden would have even Carlton Kirby misplaced for phrases and the commissaires reaching for the smelling salts.

sean kelly
Kelly – Head wound harm stitched with out anaesthetic

Johan Museeuw: Absolutely the ‘Recordman’ for the Ronde with eight podiums and 3 times a winner of Paris-Roubaix the place a nasty crash in Arenberg Forest in 1998 nearly noticed him lose his leg as gangrene set in. Two years later he would cross the road within the Roubaix velodrome, triumphant with aforementioned knee raised to go away us in little doubt that he was again. Hardcore.

Johan Museeuw was in zijn leven nog nooit zo teleurgesteld als na afloop van Parijs-Roubaix 1994. Op de foto zit de klasrijke Belg gedesilusioneerd in de bekende douches., foto Cor Vos ©
Museeuw – Almost misplaced a leg

Luis Ocaña: we’ve excluded Eddy Merckx from this listing, it goes with out saying he was the ‘baaddest’ by any measure. Many stated that they weren’t terrified of Baron Edouard Louis in his 70’s prime however few really put their cash the place their mouth was. Ocaña did, savaging Merckx within the mountains within the ’71 Tour de France till his notorious crash on the descent of the Col de Mente which noticed him need to abandon with the maillot jaune on his again. Ocaña would win the Tour in ’73 however within the absence of Merckx who rode and received each the GC and factors classifications within the Vuelta and Giro that season. However Ocaña’s ’71 ‘failure’ is now a part of our sport’s archive of legends.

ocaña
Ocaña – Unfortunate or a tragic life?

Tom Simpson: none more durable, a person who may trip himself into someplace past the pale – and on the Ventoux he simply went too far. The king of French biking journalism, Philippe Brunel referred to as him as a ‘genius’. I wouldn’t argue with that evaluation.

sanremo 64
Simpson – He went too far

Rik Van Looy: together with Merckx and Roger De Vlaeminck, Rik II is considered one of solely three males to win the entire monuments; more durable than arduous and a person who’s phrase was price – effectively, not a lot. Englishman, Vin Denson rode for Van Looy and Jacques Anquetil and while the Norman’s phrase was his bond, Rik’s was something however. . .

Rik van Looy, foto Cor Vos ©
Van Looy – Robust and difficult

Rik Van Steenbergen: one other man whose private life would make a great film with playing, medication, smuggling, police busts and. . . starring in a mushy porn film. There’s a college of thought says that had he raced much less – he’d typically race twice a day, anyplace the cash was sturdy – then he’s have received extra that his three World Skilled Street Race Championships and eight Classics.

Van Steenbergen
Van Steenbergen – He led fairly a life

Sean Yates: a younger Russian rider who had simply had a tongue lashing from the ‘Large Sean,’ rode as much as his group captain, Evgeni Berzin asking who the Englishman thought he was? Berzin counselled the teenager that it could be finest to chunk his lip, it wasn’t a good suggestion to tangle with Yates. A person even the younger, cocksure Lance Armstrong didn’t reply again – not generally known as, ‘The Animal’ for nothing.

Roubaix - France - wielrennen - cycling - cyclisme - radsport - Sean YATES pictured during Paris-Roubaix 1994 - archief - stock - archive - archivbild - photo Cor Vos © 2017
Yates – Large and arduous

# And now we’re ready for the ‘hate mail . . . . #

magni
Fiorenzo Magni didn’t make it in to the highest ‘Unhealthy Ass’


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