Sexuality and sensuality have so much in frequent — however they’re not the identical factor. What’s the distinction between being sexual and being sensual, and the way do the 2 relate to one another?
“Sexual” is fairly simple: When individuals discuss sexual exercise, they’re often referring to the method of bodily intimacy between consenting adults. Generally, although, the thought of being “sensual” is lumped in with being sexual.
“I believe individuals typically use ‘sensual’ when making an attempt to say [or imply] ‘sexual-light,’ when it could be a lot extra useful to do not forget that ‘sensual’ merely means ‘of the senses’– sight, scent, sound, style, and contact,” says Richard M. Siegel, PhD, a licensed psychological well being counselor and co-director of Trendy Intercourse Remedy Institutes in West Palm Seashore, FL.
In different phrases, being sexual just about all the time includes being sensual — might you’ve gotten intercourse with out participating any of your 5 senses? However being sensual doesn’t must contain being sexual. It’s a lot greater than that.
You may select to faucet into your sensual self as a part of a sexual encounter, as a part of an intimate encounter that isn’t essentially going to result in intercourse, or simply as a result of it feels good with no considered something sexual in any respect.
“Sensuality is the idea of how we expertise our our bodies, different our bodies, and the world round us,” says Rosara Torrisi, PhD, an authorized intercourse therapist, founding director of The Lengthy Island Institute of Intercourse Remedy, and co-host of the podcast Our Higher Half about sexuality and older adults. “What I do so much as a intercourse therapist is assist individuals with their sensual self.”
“Sensuality is a solution to positively inhabit the physique, by means of pleasure and pleasure and enjoyable and celebration,” she provides. “Having fun with your physique generally is a revolutionary act when you find yourself not objectified or subjected to a different individual, and also you personal your pleasure and your time.”
So how are you going to get again in contact along with your sensual self — whether or not or not you need that sensuality to in the end result in sexuality? Begin by going again to fundamentals.
“Take into consideration what feels good to your sense of contact,” Torrisi says. “What do you prefer to scent? What tastes good to you? What music or different sounds do you prefer to take heed to? What do you want to take a look at? Mindfulness is the crux of it. It’s about noticing what’s occurring along with your senses and having enjoyable in your physique.”
Some concepts to discover:
Joyful physique motion. This may be dance, yoga, stretching, happening walks, leaping up and down, or enjoying the piano or one other instrument. What are the bodily sensations?
Search for magnificence in your on a regular basis world. Possibly it’s flowers in a backyard, or a spectacular sundown, or artwork. What do you see that’s visually pleasurable?
Make a meal. It doesn’t must be a elaborate connoisseur dinner. Even making a easy spaghetti sauce can mild up your senses of scent and style. Discover the scent of the onions, garlic, and spices. Style the tomato sauce. Linger with the aromas in your kitchen.
Faucet into contact. Discover how completely different materials and textures like furs, feathers, wool, or suede really feel.
“Attempt completely different touches, textures, scents and use them to develop into extra conscious of your physique basically,” Torrisi says. Bear in mind, that is nearly noticing what feels good to you. It doesn’t must result in anything.
“Sensuality is for everybody, whether or not you’re single, with a accomplice, with a number of companions, or by no means engaged in sexual connection in any respect,” Torrisi says. “Possibly your final sensual pleasure is carrying cozy pajamas, sipping a cup of tea in a quiet home, and blissing out your yard. That’s sensuality too. It’s a solution to positively inhabit your physique.”
Though sexuality and sensuality don’t must go collectively, they actually can. And typically refocusing on the sensual can enhance the sexual facet of your life — particularly when the physique has bodily limitations.
Sexuality educator Jane Fleishman, PhD, focuses on the sexual well-being of older adults in senior residing communities. “They typically must redefine what intercourse means as their our bodies age and assume extra about sensuality as one other type of pleasure,” she says. “Arousal of sensuality might result in a sexual interplay … or it would simply be precisely what we’re in search of in itself.”
If in case you have a accomplice, you would possibly determine collectively to get in contact along with your sensual selves for the needs of need and arousal, Fleishman says.
As an illustration, she factors to the sensual pleasure of dancing to music with the appropriate lighting and environment. “Or strive ‘physique mapping’– touching each a part of your physique to rediscover what feels good and what doesn’t,” Fleishman says. “With {couples} who’ve been collectively for a very long time and for whom intercourse has not been good or has not been occurring in any respect, this sort of sensual contact is a good way to reconnect.”
