Name me Fred.
I’m about 80% of the best way via “Moby Dick” now (technically “Moby-Dick” should you’re a Literary Fred) and so immersed am I in it that I see Dick all over the place I am going. And like tempestuous Ahab pacing the deck of the Pequod upon his whalebone peg-leg, I too am affected by my very own white whale, that being a pair of Spinergys:
[It is said that a full-grown Cipollini can produce more oil than a mature sperm whale.]
It began after I was plying the seas of Craigslist and noticed this submit:
As a semi-professional blogger at present engaged in an in depth evaluation of a classic carbon-and-titanium racing bike, I figured these wheels can be helpful for each scientific and novelty functions. So, on a whim, I proffered a modest supply, and as I beforehand associated I used to be soundly rebuffed:
I figured that was that, however then an nameless benefactor provided to subsidize the acquisition. So I despatched one other message to the vendor agreeing to pay the complete quantity, assured that the wheels would now be mine:
Oddly, no reply was forthcoming, and because the wheels drifted additional and additional away, my want for them solely elevated. “Maybe they’ve already been bought,” I assumed to myself, however after I looked for the submit the following morning, not solely was it nonetheless up, however the vendor had lowered his worth to $150:
Solely a madman would ignore or refuse a suggestion for his full asking worth solely to scale back it by 25% the very subsequent day, and so I figured the one logical rationalization was that he had not seen my second e-mail in any respect. And so, undaunted, I despatched a brand new one:
The reply got here instantly:
I did as instructed. The wheels have been now tantalizingly shut–so shut I may think about myself thumbing a pair of tires onto them. However out of the clear sky got here a sudden squall that blew them violently out to sea:
I ought to level out that these screenshots comprise the whole lot of his messages, and that his curt replies have been at no level embellished with phrases comparable to “please” or “thanks” or every other type of well mannered discourse. Moreover, the ZIP code he signifies is within the neighborhood of Ithaca, NY, which is effectively over 200 miles away from New York Metropolis. So while I endeavor to provide each human the good thing about the doubt, I admit I discover it each puzzling and vexing that somebody would act irritated and put-upon by another person providing to provide him cash for one thing he’s listed on the market on a public discussion board. Moreover, I discover it doubly puzzling and vexing that regardless of being nowhere close to New York Metropolis he’d compose the submit in such a method that it reveals the wheels mere steps from the subway line I trip a minimum of twice every week:
With regard to this latter level, I figured I ought to carry this to his consideration, if solely as a result of I didn’t need him to suppose I used to be the form of schmuck who replies to classifieds itemizing in Ithaca and presents to choose up the products in Manhattan. So I despatched the next message, full with screenshot exhibiting the map:
And but as I kind this the submit remains to be reside, with no indication in any way of the vendor’s location apart from a map of Manhattan with a pin in it proper within the neighborhood of 14th Avenue and seventh Avenue::
Evaluate his comportment with that of, say, this vendor, to choose one roughly at random:
Not solely is he clear about his location, however he clearly understands that purchasing and promoting requires a certain quantity of communication, even when it does require one to work together with the occasional looky-loo. Sure, invariably he’ll get the odd e-mail like, “Will this work on my fixie?,” and “I’ll offer you $75, will you ship these to Poughkeepsie?” However finally an get together will occur upon them, they’ll shoot a number of emails forwards and backwards, they’ll alternate cash for items, and the wheels of commerce will proceed to roll straight and true.
In fact, by this level a sane individual would hand over the hunt. (Truly, a sane individual would have given it up after his preliminary supply was refused–or, most sanely, by no means made a suggestion within the first place.) Nevertheless, I’m a semi-professional bike blogger, not an expert sane individual, and so I hereby nail my doubloon the mast and declare that if any of you dozens of readers on the market occur to reside within the Ithaca space and need to buy these wheels for me I’ll fortunately reimburse you for the $150 and the transport to New York Metropolis, plus a little bit beer cash in your troubles. And naturally I’d implore you to deal with the vendor respectfully and never in any method disclose that you simply’re in cahoots with that schmuck in New York Metropolis who stored emailing him. I don’t need vindication and I don’t need to violate his privateness in any method; all I need is the wheels.
Within the meantime, like Ahab pacing on a prosthetic limb created from the bone of the very species that torments him, I’ll simply sit right here and stare at my Spinergy clock:
I could not have any Spinergys, however I’ve acquired heaps and plenty of time.
